


Human Love

by FishingforCrows



Series: Our New Life on Our Side [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 10:18:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19354993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FishingforCrows/pseuds/FishingforCrows
Summary: How similar are angels to demons? How similar are demons to humans?Now that they are finally free from the judgment of either Heaven or Hell, Crowley feels there's something he needs to get off his chest. There are questions he needs answered.





	Human Love

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at 4:00 AM in a fever-like state, I hope you enjoy it

Late one evening, a few weeks after the Apocalypse hadn’t happened, Aziraphale sat in his favorite reading chair with his nose buried in a novel. Just as he was about to take a sip of his cocoa, a knock came at the door. Without even tearing his eyes from the page he called out “Sorry, we’re closed for today,” to whoever was behind the door. 

“It’s me,” Came a familiar voice from the other side. A warm smile came to the angel’s face as he set down his mug and carefully slid a book mark into his book. 

“Coming!” He replied, quickly getting up from his chair and hurrying to get the door. “Crowley!” He greeted his friend cheerfully as he opened the door. “What brings you by so late?”

The angel’s smile faded slightly when he got a good look at Crowley’s face as the demon moved from the darkness outside to the light of the shop. He wore an expression wrought with consternation. This was made more apparent by the fact that his sunglasses were hanging from the collar of his shirt rather than covering his eyes like usual. Aziraphale bristled with worry at all these unusual details.

“I need to talk to you,” Crowley said after a moment of tense silence. 

Aziraphale rushed over towards his friend, fear taking hold of him. “Did something happen? Are you in danger?” he asked in a panicked voice. His odd behavior, coupled with that last statement made the angel think that whatever the demon was here about, it must be of grave importance. This was, in a large part, influenced by the fact that just under a month ago they had the forces of heaven and hell trying their hardest to kill the both of them. He jumped to the logical conclusion that it must be related to that. 

“No, no!” Crowley snapped back rather harshly. Then he withered and softened slightly, seemingly not having the will to really be angry with Aziraphale. “No, it’s… it’s not anything like that. Not an emergency. I just need to…” he sighed heavily. “Talk.”

Aziraphale nodded warily. He then showed Crowley to a table in the back of the shop. He offered to get his guest a hot beverage, or perhaps something stronger, but Crowley declined. So, Aziraphale just sat down across from him and waited anxiously for whatever the other had to say. The demon took one last deep breath and then he spoke.

“There seems to be a lot of things demons do that angels… don’t do,” His words were awkward, and uncertain. As though, he wasn’t really sure he knew how to word what he was thinking.

“Well of course we do different things,” Aziraphale said with a startled chuckle at such an obvious, yet odd, statement “That’s what… makes us angels or makes us demons!” He said with a laugh, as though it were plain as day. He then saw the furrowed brow and deep frown on Crowley’s face, though, and his laugh faltered. “What sort of… things, in particular, were you referring to?”

“Like… like dancing and possessing humans…,” 

Aziraphale gulped softly. He had done both of those things on different occasions. Of course, he had done lots of things that angels didn’t normally do, like befriending a demon. He didn’t quite understand what Crowley was getting at. The demon continued rattling off his list.

“Being pricks to each other for no reason, swearing, fighting, torturing people,” the angel had also sworn on more than one occasion but now wasn’t the time for that. 

“What is your point, dear?” Aziraphale prompted, brow furrowed in concern at this point. 

“My point is!” Crowley exclaimed, starting to sound frustrated. “My point is demons seem a lot more like humans than angels do!” He was practically yelling by this point.

“And maybe that makes sense! You know? I mean when you’re an angel you’re supposed to be this perfectly obedient being of light, and then if you start asking questions and using your own free will then you… you fall! And so it’s like god gave us all free will but only humans are allowed to use it! Because otherwise what would separate the angels from the humans?” He was rambling now, seemingly manic. Frustration, pain, and panic carved into his expression as he spoke. 

“What are you talking about?” Aziraphale asked in utter confusion, now truly and deeply worried about his friend. He had no idea where this rant was going, but he could tell that Crowley was incredible pain. Watching him suffer like that with no clue of how to help was torture. It felt light a vice-grip was clamped around his heart, tightening with every moment he had to watch his friend in pain.

 _“Only humans fall in love!”_ Crowley shouted, his voice cracking with barely-restrained sorrow.

Aziraphale stared at him in shock. Out of all the places he had expected that tornado of words to end, that was not one of them. “Wh-wha-,” He started to ask, only to be cut off by Crowley. 

“You don’t get it,” The demon lamented mournfully, slumping back in his chair. “Can angels even feel love?” He muttered, the question almost lost in a sigh. 

“Of course we can…” Aziraphale replied gently, leaning in, desperate to ease his companions apparent sadness. “Angels are beings of love, we feel love for everyone and everything created by god,”

“Not like that, damn it!” Crowley clamored, slamming his fist on the table, causing Aziraphale to jump. “I’m talking about the human kind of love! The kind of love where you have this other person that means more to you than anything else in the world. The kind of love where all you want to do is be around them and your heart aches for them when you’re apart from them for too long. That… That! Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, impulsive, blinding, ‘I’ll die if I can’t be with you’ kind of love! The human kind!”

“O-oh…” The angel stammered weakly. He looked down in thought, covering his mouth as he tried to think. “I’m… Not sure if angels can feel that…” He mumbled with uncertainty. He thought as hard as he could about Crowley’s words. But was too distracted and confused to really parse out an answer. His mind was clouded with trying to figure out why Crowley was asking these things, rather than actually trying to figuring out how to reply. If he could just figure what had caused Crowley to be in this state, perhaps he would know the right thing to say to comfort him right now. He reached across the table and put his hand on the other’s, making eye contact with him. “Please… tell me what is wrong? Why these strange questions?” Desperation crept into his tone. 

Piercing yellow eyes filled with longing, a longing to say something that could not be said, held his gaze. Moment after moment of loaded silence passed, feeling like it would last forever until finally Crowley spoke again. 

“I’m in love with you,” Crowley’s voice was soft and broken. Like he had just admitted something he was deeply ashamed of. Aziraphales was simultaneously stunned and heartbroken to hear the tender phrase spoken in such a defeated way. He stared, eyes wide and full of confusion and sadness, at a loss for words. 

“And I wondered if… if you even could feel that way about me in return,” Crowley continued, his voice much softer and weaker than before. “I know you’re an angel… and there are a lot of things angels don’t do. And there are a lot of ways that angels and demons… and humans… are different. But you also do a lot of things that other angels don’t. And a lot of times… We seem a lot more similar to each other than we do to,” He made a vague, all-encompassing gesture. “Anyone else. So, I thought… I hoped that maybe… you could feel the same way about me.” His eyes could no longer meet Aziraphales. His head hung low and he stared down at the table, seemingly afraid to witness the other’s reaction.

Silence hung over them once more. Aziraphale tried to process exactly what had just happened but his brain had apparently decided to come to a screeching halt. As though this new information had run right in front of his train of thought and caused the whole thing to swerve off the tracks and crash. How in the world was he supposed to respond?

“I…” He started uncertainly but took a deep breath and steeled himself. Crowley was vulnerable right now, he had just bared his soul. He needed to be strong, for Crowley. He sat up straight, smoothing out his waistcoat. “You know why I have to do little miracles for me? Like taking stains out of my clothes or finding little things that I need?” He asked, getting a confused look from across the table. “I could do them myself, easily. I could probably even do them without a miracle. But knowing that you did it for me, that you took the time and care to do a little gesture for me… it makes it different. It makes it special.”

“And perhaps,” He said with a breathy, almost nervous, laugh “I’ve become too accustomed to you doing things for me. Because any time anything goes wrong, I look for you. I come to you whenever I have a problem because I know you’ll figure out a way to fix. I know you’ll figure it out because you are brilliant. Brilliant, and resourceful and imaginative a-and,” he stuttered slightly, face turning red as he begun to gain traction with his thoughts again. “And it’s not just that I know you’ll always figure out the perfect solution it’s because I wouldn’t want anyone else’s help but yours. You are always there for me exactly when I need you and if anyone else even tried I’m not sure I’d want them instead because at the end of the day when you help me… it’s different. It’s different because it’s you.”

Crowley had raised his head once more, his face lifting and Aziraphale could see a glint of hope in his eyes. It encouraged him and the angel carried on greater zeal, encouraged by the effect it was having on his companion. 

“I don’t know what I would do without you! Because of all that the thought of ever losing you… terrifies me! I remember when you asked me to get you that holy water and I thought you might use it on yourself, the idea that I might one day have to live in a world where you were gone shook me to my very core! I couldn’t give it to you because I couldn’t bear to be a part of making that horrible, horrible world a reality!” He was speaking quickly now, almost breathless. “But then I found out you were just going to go and get it yourself which might put you in even greater danger so I gave it to you anyway! And then I told you, you were too fast for me because knowing that you were willing to put yourself in danger like that frightened me!” Tears were starting to well in the corners of his eyes. “But really I just wanted to push you away so it wouldn’t hurt so terribly much if I ever did have to lose you!” 

Finally, he came to a stopping point, tears running down his cheeks. He hiccupped and sniffled softly as he tried to catch his breath and calm down. He looked across the table at Crowley and smiled, still crying. “So tell me… is that what your ‘human love’ is supposed to feel like?” 

The demon didn’t reply. Instead he abruptly stood up, and nearly jumped across the table to embrace Aziraphale. He hugged him tightly as the angel began letting out a mixture of relieved laughter and soft sobs. Aziraphale was feeling such a rushing whirlwind of emotion right now, he just couldn’t contain any of it. He was relieved he had comforted Crowley, confused at having to interpret and explain all these long-held feelings, sad that Crowley had thought he couldn’t feel the same way about him in the first place. But mostly, he felt love. He felt it swell up inside his chest and fill up his whole body with warmth and joy. And he knew it was love now, he could be very sure of it. 

“I love you so much, Angel,” Crowley whispered, burying his face into the golden locks of Aziraphale’s hair. “I’ve loved you for millennia and I will love you for the rest of eternity. I will always be there for you whenever you need me,”

“You always have,” Aziraphale interjected, nuzzling against his shoulder. 

“I love you too, Crowley.”

 


End file.
